T shots, parents and bathrooms

So last night as Kass said, I attempted to do my own shot. Unfortunately, it did not happen, so after about 12 minutes or so, Kass came to the rescue. Shot number five was then and only then a success.
Today I feel a little over and underwhelmed, as well as a bit emotional.
I’m not sure if I’m just having a totally unrelated moody day or if it has to do with my hormones. Normally I would be getting my period anywhere between now and roughly the next five days. I’m going to assume I am getting it seeing as this is only day 30 on T, but my period is already so light and short that I wouldn’t really be surprised if it was already gone. Besides feeling low today, I have not had any other symptoms, so I guess we will just be surprised.
I’m also feeling a little stressed out over my parents. I have not spoken to them in about 6 months. The last time we spoke they refused to come to our wedding. I knew at that time that I was going to be transitioning, but I was still in therapy and had not gotten my T letter yet. My therapist told me not to rush it and that we would work on telling them. Well when they refused I just couldn’t do it any more. They always treated Kass like crap and in hopes that they would come around I didn’t really call them in it. They also have made it very clear throughout my life that they refuse to see me as the person I am. My mother always made it very clear that she would not come to the wedding, but my dad promised he would about two years prior to our actual date. When I told him we were finally getting married and he told me that he would not be there, I could no handle it any more. I have refused to speak with them and they have more or less refused to speak with me. My dad did send a nasty letter in August, I think he was a little butt hurt I ignored his birthday, and he sent a text on my birthday and then my mom sent a birthday card from them. I’ve ignored everything, I just can’t do it any more.
Now I have decided to send them a video. That way they can see me, they know that it is coming from me, and I can lay everything out.
From this I am expecting a backlash. They will not take it laying down, nor I’m sure will there be pleasantries.
I have been attempting to plan out and record the video for about 2 weeks now but I just have not been able to bring myself to do it. It feels like too much sadness to force myself to do it.
One other thing I’m having a hard time with is switching back and fourth between my ‘old’ identity and my ‘new’ identity. At home and out I am male and Weston. At work I am female and have to legally go by my given name until I change it. It becomes a bit of a mindfuck for me because I feel like I don’t know who I am.
I am also concerned about restroom usage at work. Well really everywhere, but at work many people know me. There is one unisex restroom on each floor but they are prime for pooping alone, so many times when I try to use it I have to instead go to the women’s anyways. This causes me great concern when I begin passing. What will they allow me to do? How will I discuss this with them? What are my bathroom rights?

Thanks all.

6 thoughts on “T shots, parents and bathrooms

  1. Sorry to hear about your parents. Maybe one day they will come around and see how you’re being true to yourself and love and appreciate that.

    Do you have an HR department rep you can talk to? I had a supportive supervisor, but I also had a real pro in the HR department who looked up what the Federal Government policies were and she made sure we followed those since they are more inclusive than what is found locally.

    Finally, a pro tip on the whole shot thing: Do not attempt to give yourself your shot when your cat wants attention. Trust me on this.

    • Thank you. I’m not sure if they will come around. I had to fight with them for about ten years before they would acknowledge the fact that I was gay/queer. I hope they do though, with all my heart.
      I have an old supervisor that is super supportive. When I came out to her she went right to HR to find out if I could start using my chosen name and they were already making plans for my leave for top surgery. I guess I don’t know why I didn’t think about asking them. Maybe I’m nervous…
      Thank you, I think that is a very good tip!

      • Thank you. I really appreciate it. I have been so fearful in starting this journey. So afraid of the changes that I can’t control, the people I may lose and the hatred my partner and I may face. So far, aside from my family, we have been met with open arms.
        You’re right, living authentically does feel so much better.

  2. When I started T, my girlfriend (now fiancee) learned to do my shots with the understanding I would take over ASAP. It’s been 3 years and I haven’t done a single shot! Haha. I don’t mean to discourage you, just wanted to say that your trepidation is very understandable.

    I’m really sorry to hear about your folks being so negative/rejecting. Hope your workplace situation gets worked out.

    • No, that is good to know! So many people act like it is so easy and it is just this thing that they do. I never thought I had that big of an issue with needles, but apparently I do!
      Thanks. It’s really hard dealing with it sometimes, but I just try really hard not to think about it at all. It doesn’t always work, and I think it’s putting me in a crabby mood since the holidays are fast approaching, but there’s not much I can do. I haven’t talked to them since about five months before officially starting my transition so I never got to tell them. So I decided that I’m going to make a video and send it to them so they can still hear it come from me. That is if my family hasn’t gotten to them first…

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